Here comes the future! Soon to be my present and thus just as interminably monotonous as the current point in time. It's coming rings on deaf ears. Our whole lives we live in the future, always working our present like a peice of clay so that it can be molded into the shape we desire. Humans have no true concept of mortality. They fear death, hoping that some how its relentless grasp will some how miss their presence. Humans are always hoping for the philosopher's stone, the fountain of youth, and as a result they are constantly shaping their present in order to prepare themselves for the infinite future. Yet, the future never comes. It is constantly swallowed by the present abyss. My present will always reflect a desire for my future to be near utopic and as I result I will never be able to truely live my life. The continuity of life knows no future, its only concern is the present. In order to truely appreciate life I have to learn to look at the present in a new perspective. But I refuse. Because I am a masochist. Again I forget the most vital peice of knowledge relevant to the perception of this one sided discouse. I am an idiot. Ultimatly the issue rests on the question "What in the hell do I know". In my life I have gone from Presbyterian Christian, to Nation of Islam Extremist, to diehard Liberal, to horny adolescent (which of course I still remain), to a person who thinks far to much for his own good. My ability to think dooms me to a life of sorrow. Yes I know, poor me, who the hell cares? Life is a lunch line, and even though the food that is poured onto your tray may in no way be considered "good", you wait in the goddamn line like every other miserable fuck, becuase somehow you hope your slop poured on to your tray will be different. Im not depressed, I'm merely insane.